


Syndicate

by thescroller



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Nurse!Reader, PTSD, Smut, gonna need a drink, military!Jensen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:21:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23403655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescroller/pseuds/thescroller
Summary: “Don't ever forget,We haven't lost it all yet,All we know for sure,Is all that we are fighting for.”Everything happens for a reason. A motto you’ve stood by your whole life - so clearly there is a reason Jensen stumbled into yours, even if he has to fight to be a part of it.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Reader, Jensen Ackles/You
Comments: 12
Kudos: 37





	1. 1.

> **“Don't ever forget,**  
>  **We haven't lost it all yet,**  
>  **All we know for sure,**  
>  **Is all that we are fighting for.”**
> 
> * * *

_Everything happens for a reason. A motto you’ve stood by your whole life - so clearly there is a reason Jensen stumbled into yours, even if he has to fight to be a part of it._

**_COMING APRIL 2020_ **


	2. 1.

Transitioning back to the world after deployment was the hardest part of the job. 

Most times, Jensen found himself sitting in a bar, surrounded by his brother’s in arms while remembering the ones that didn’t make it back. Tonight was especially harder than usual as it would have been Tyler’s birthday had he not been dumb enough to try and be the hero, sacrificing himself for the better for the platoon. 

“Hey,” Jared’s voice pushed through the cloud of dark thoughts that had been choking him for the better part of the week. “You ready?” 

Jensen blinked a couple of times, the familiar concerned hazel eyes coming into focus as the glass in his hand felt more empty than he did. “Jared?” He cocked his head to the side while his old friend offered him that same pity smile almost everyone appeared to be giving him most of these days. “What are you doing here?” 

That smile remained, but only for a moment before he carefully took the heavy glass out from in front of the broken soldier. “Jensen,” Jared carefully pulled out the empty stool across from him, while gingerly balancing his large frame enough to sit. “You called me.” 

“When?” 

“Uh,” he fished around in his pocket for a moment before producing a small black box of a phone. “About thirty minutes ago.” 

“Really?” 

That little pity smirk was back and for the first time all night, Jensen found himself wanting to wipe it right off. He was tired of people treating him differently because he felt things a little too deep for those of the civilian world. He was tired of the company judging him for not wanting to have his back to the door when he went out to eat or for the girls that offered their overnight support to rush out the door the next morning. 

“Yes,” he nodded, eyes looking over his face as he spoke. “Let’s get you out of here.”

Something in Jensen turned red, angry even. “No, no, I’m staying here a little longer. It’s Ty’s fucking birthday.” 

“Jay,” there was a large hand that was weighing down his forearm while he glared at the man across from him. “It’s a little after three in the morning, the bar is closing.” 

Jensen thought about what he had in the barracks. With his roommates taking advantage of post-deployment leave, he was, once again, alone and lacking in the proper supplies to get by until others who understood him would get back. For a moment, he thought he could hit up the local gas station, they always had beer in stock no matter what time of the night, but then again, the way his head was swimming like he was in a fish tank was proving that he’d have to find a ride. 

“Did… did I call you for a ride?” He asked Jared. 

“Yeah, man. But you’re coming home with me.” He stood up, slowly, knowing how his friend got a little too jumpy at sudden movements. “Gen has the guest room all set up.” 

He wanted to fight. He wanted to stay out and prove that Tyler had meant something to him, but something small, a little voice in the back of his mind was telling him that this wasn’t the way to do it. If he really wanted to honor his brother, he should listen to the voice of reason coming from Jared and just go home. 

After all, nothing good ever happens after three in the morning. 


	3. 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warnings: mention of a miscarriage.

**Chapter One**

Your eyes were barely staying open as you plop yourself down at the reception desk, taking only two seconds you could out of your shift to breathe and remind yourself you only had to make it through for the next couple of weeks until your transfer was official. Human resources were taking their sweet ass time getting the paperwork ready for you to actually head into the field of your desire, but you knew it was all a head game. 

They thought if they kept you around long enough, you’d just stick around for the remainder of the year. 

“Y/N,” the curt voice coming from your left could only be the one and only Dr. Hassed. “What are you doing?” 

Keeping your eyes closed, you responded, slowly. “Taking a breather.” 

“Patients need checking, there’s a blood draw that needs to be done in room 402 and you need to finish your paperwork from that car accident this morning.” 

You peeked open one eye and used it to glare at the head doctor before you. “And why do you think I’m taking a breather?” 

“Because you’re lazy.” 

If you didn’t actually enjoy your job and what you did, you would have had some choice words for the woman who held your fate in her hands. “Or because I've been running around since three in the afternoon,” you paused, using the palms of your hands to push up and away from the desk you had only just settled into. “Maybe when you work an eighteen-hour shift that is super short-staffed, you have to remind yourself why you’re doing it.” 

The dark-haired witch opened her mouth to speak, but you didn’t give her the chance to reply. Instead, you turned on your heel and marched your way down to room 402. 

Taking another deep breath, you waited for a beat before knocking on the door. “Good morning,” you said slipping in through the door, eyeing the chart that was waiting for you at the end of the bed. “So, what’s going on today?” 

You looked up, seeing a young woman, probably in her early twenties with red-rimmed eyes, clutching the hand of a man next to her. Both of them were silent as you cursed yourself for not glancing over the notes before speaking, but it was too late now - looking down and away would just make whatever worse. 

This was why you needed more than two seconds to collect yourself. 

“I…” the blonde started to speak, but her voice caught a bit. “I’m pregnant.” 

The man next to her gave her hand a little squeeze. While usually, a situation like this would call for a happy congratulations, something told you that they wouldn’t be here for no reason. As best as you could, you glanced down at the clipboard in front of you and your stomach sunk at the words scribbled across the piece of paper. 

_“... threatened miscarriage..”_

There was a soft sob from the woman across from you as your eyes flitted up to meet hers just as her hand softly rubbed the non-existent bump on her stomach. “We just found out two weeks ago,” she stated softly, her glossy blue eyes going from you and the man you could only assume was her boyfriend. “I… started to bleed this evening. We had just been out to eat and when I went to the bathroom… there was blood.” 

Once again, your stomach sunk at her words. But one of the many things that came with working in the medical field, you had to learn when to put on your best poker face even when you find yourself wanting to share tears with a complete stranger. “Well, I’m here to take some additional blood work for the doctor. I’m sure everything will be okay.” 

“But, what if it’s not?” She whispered. 

You offered her a small smile. “I’m a big believer in everything happens for a reason, Miss Evans.” 

The next two hours of your shift flew on by, but you couldn’t get that poor girl out of your mind. Occasionally, you poked your head in to make sure that she was comfortable and every time you popped in, they both would ask when the bloodwork was coming back. You had gone out of your way to see what was taking so long, seeing as most times bloodwork could be examined fairly fast, but the lab was surprisingly backed up. 

Another hour left into your shift, you saw the doctor slip into Evan's room before your beeper went off for you to be on standby. It was never a good thing when things like that happened; it usually meant that the news was for the worst. You held your breath until you saw the doctor slip back out quietly, the usually scowl on her face replaced with some sort of emotion. 

“Okay,” you muttered to yourself as you stepped closer to the same room, only this time knowing the answer to the question that they wouldn’t be asking. “Breathe, remember you have to be the bigger person.” 

Gingerly, you pushed forward on the handle, using your shoulder to lean into the opening as you were greeted with the sounds of very muffled sobs. You had heard this more times than you wanted to admit, but every time your heart broke for the mother of babies that they’d never be able to meet. 

“I’m so sorry,” you spoke softly when Derek looked up, tears welling up as he nodded at your words. 

MaryAnne was clutching herself, arms wrapped around her stomach like she was using all of her willpower to keep her little bean inside, but after a couple of deep breaths she looked up at you. “This is my fault, isn't it?” 

“No,” you shook your head furiously, breaking typically protocol and stepping towards her before perching yourself on the side of her bed, closer to the two of them. “You were only about six weeks. This is just… it’s just one of those things that we can’t control.” 

Her eyes watered up again as you watched several large tears trickle down as she looked up at you. Nothing would bring this woman peace, you knew that, but right now she needed to know that it wasn’t anything she could have done differently. “MaryAnne,” you started, bringing a hand forward and carefully placing it on her shoulder. “You have no idea how sorry I am that you have to go through this.” 

There was a quiet that fell over the room. It wasn’t a peaceful sort of silence, it was the kind that came with too many thoughts, too many questions and not enough answers.

“Have you had a miscarriage?” She blurted out.

Derek opened his mouth, dark eyes wide with shock at his girlfriend's sudden and imprudent question. You met him with your hand up in the air as a silent sign of assurance. Another deep breath from you as you made sure to look this hopeless woman in her eyes, “Yes.” 

“Did it get any better?” 

You were quiet for a moment as you thought about the proper answer to give her. While you usually would just give the generic promise of trying again in the future or that she was still young and had all the time in the world, but this time around you felt compelled to be honest. “No. It didn’t.” 

Now for the first time all night, Derek looked over at you than at his girlfriend with a sort of look of confusion and hurt at your confession. “What does that mean?” 

Now you stood up, standing over the bed, giving yourself a chance to look at both of them equally. “It means, there won’t be a day that goes by that you won’t think about the little person you almost had. It might come in waves like you could go for two months without thinking about it until one day you look at the calendar and see that you would have been at your due date. You might be at the store and you see a happy little family and you find that sudden ache in your chest. You…” 

“You never forget.” 

The rest of your shift, you spent with the two of them and for the first time in well over a year, you walked out of your shift really feeling like you had made a difference. Hell, nurses make a difference every day, but rarely did they leave work feeling like it. You made sure to give MaryAnne your number and a list of support groups should she feel like she needed it; both of them gave you a huge hug when you told them it was time for you to head out, but it made you feel better to not see them hunched over themselves in that endless pool of the blame game. 

Once you were in your car and the streaks of daylight were starting to peek through did the overall exhaustion hit you like a freight train. There was no way you were going to make it home in one piece. 

Scrolling through your contacts, you clicked the one you were looking for. Only a handful of rings before there was a soft “hello” on the other end. “Hey Gen, I’m just getting off my shift. Do you think I could crash at your place for a bit?” 

There was a slight yawn from her end before she answered. “Only if you don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”


	4. 2.

**Chapter Two**

He heard commotion well before he opened his eyes. 

The sound of little feet padded across the hardwood floor by his bedroom which was followed by the sound of Genevie’s soft voice floating through as Jensen heard her remind the boys to be quiet since they had guests staying over. As the words settled in, Jensen’s eyes shot open a little too fast revealing the hangover he was bound to be nursing for the next couple of hours. 

Turning to his right, he found the spot next to him in bed vacant. 

Part of him wasn’t sure if he should sigh in relief that he hadn’t tried to bring someone into Jared’s home or if he should be disappointed in the level of loneliness that crept its way into his thoughts. Deciding not to read too much into it, knowing that it would do nothing but make his head hurt, even more, he slowly sat up, giving his eyes a good rub before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. 

When he stood, the room started to spin, causing him to clutch the nightstand with the small digital alarm clock blinking that it was a little after eight in the morning. Carefully and slowly, Jensen made his way towards the door, poking his head out to avoid tripping over any wondering little ones, but when he stepped out - he remembered he forgot to check to see if there had been any sharp and pointy toys laying around. 

He was cursing, rather loudly, about ever buying the boys Hot Wheels. 

By the time he was safely tucked into the bathroom, he knew Gen had at least poked her head around the corner from the kitchen to see what all the noise was about. Jensen took his time in there, sitting for a long as he could while the world continued to spin around him. He thought about taking a shower, but he didn’t want to take his hospitality for granted; so instead, he settled for splashing some cold water on his face. 

As he slowly made his way back into the hall, he was hit with the smell of potent coffee. His hungover heart sang silent praises for Jared’s wife, she knew just how to make the perfect cup - especially after the fucked up night he had. Just as he was turning the corner, he heard voices, but they weren’t those of Jared and Gen, but of his friend’s wife and another woman. 

“Are you okay?” He heard Gen ask the unknown voice when he paused, unsure whether or not he wanted to be social with a stranger on a morning like this. 

There was a brief moment of silence while he found himself accidentally eavesdropping on a conversation he wasn’t a part of. Another two breaths and he heard the unfamiliar voice once more. “I’m... better than I thought I’d be.” 

“Are you sure? You can spend the day with us if you want. There’s no reason for you to be alone on your day off.” 

Gen was always the motherly, nurturing kind - so her response to asking if someone was okay and offering to cater to them never ceased to surprise him. He was pretty sure that the only reason he had been able to sleep in an overly fluffy bed was because of that woman. Jensen knew that he’d have to do something big to make up for the many numbers of things his friends had been doing for him since he got back home. 

The pause from the other person was long and drawn out while Jensen continued to hover behind the corner between the hallway and the kitchen where coffee was calling his name. “I don’t know,” her voice was soft, almost raspy with what he could only imagine was sleep. “Don’t have someone else here?” 

“Yes, and?” 

There was a chuckle, one that matched her tone of voice perfectly. “You have two boys, Gen. And another little one on the way, don’t you think having an extra body would be a little much?” 

“Nonsense.” There was a clank of something before it was followed by a slow sizzle. “We rarely get to see you these days with your schedule, I’m getting any time I can get from you.” 

“But… I need to shower and my scrubs need to be cleaned. I don’t even have clothes to hang out here. It’s not like I can strut around naked.” 

Now Jensen’s attention had peaked beyond return. He wasted no time turning the corner with a yawn, which wasn’t really one he had to force too much, “Mornin’,” he mumbled making his way over to where he knew the coffee pot to live. “Is it alright if I make myself a cup?” 

When he turned around he was met with Gen’s raised eyebrows and a slow nod before she turned her attention back to her friend. It was the first time that Jensen was getting a good look at the voice on the other side of the wall and to say the air had been knocked out of his lungs would have been an understatement of the century. Her eyes were bright, despite the noticeable dark bags under them, her hair was thrown up in some messy ponytail and her lips were pursed in a paused sip from her mug of coffee. 

“Uh,” her eyes shifted towards Gen and back towards where he was leaning against the marble countertop. “Morning?”

Gen took note and gave a wide smile now, stealing a glance at the bacon that was sizzling on the stovetop next to her. “Y/N, this is a good friend of Jared and I’s,” she looked over at him, her smile growing wider by the second. “He’s been overseas for the last couple of months.” 

“Oh,” he noticed how some sort of recognition seemed to settle into her expression now.   
Jensen, right?” 

“The one and only,” he answered with a shrug. 

She gave a small nod and a soft ‘nice to finally meet you,’ before her attention turned back to her coffee while an awkward sort of silence washed over the room. Jensen considered taking his coffee back to his room where he could sit in the fishbowl of his mind for an hour or so before braving up the courage to head back to base. 

Not that he really wanted to, but he knew he had overstayed his welcome already. 

“Jay,” Gen’s voice was coated with something as she flipped one of the slabs of thick-cut bacon and his stomach resulted in a growl. “I was just telling Y/N that she is more than welcome to spend her day off with us, the same goes for you.” 

“I don’t know…” 

There was a snort from the woman across the counter earning her a glare from our host. “Please. The boys would love to see their Uncle Jay. Jared is dying for some guy time that doesn’t involve having to chase little versions of himself around the backyard all day.” 

The hesitation must have been present on his face as she rocked on her feet carefully. “We can grill.” 

“Excuse me?” Y/N inquired, leaning over the counter now to get her friend’s attention only to give Jensen a decent shot of down her tank top. “You didn’t mention grilling when you were trying to convince me to stay.” 

“Maybe I hoped it wouldn’t come to that.” 

The exchange continued with the banter of how long it had been since Y/N had actually been able to sit outside with a beer, the grill going and some good company. Although Jensen would argue that he wasn’t the best company, he had a hard time ignoring the excitement between the two women - it actually made him feel a little more human than he had in a couple of weeks. 

“You said you needed to clean your scrubs,” Gen retorted. 

Y/N waved her hand before grabbing several sets of plates and helping to set the table, something Jensen was suddenly kicking himself for not offering to do. “And you have a closet full of clothes that I know haven’t seen the light of day in, what,” she eyed Gen’s rounding stomach, “like six months?”

“Is that your way of asking to borrow my clothes?” 

“Maybe.”

When Gen gave an exasperated laugh before laying out a mixture of bacon, eggs, and waffles, Jensen took his seat at the table across from his newest acquaintance did he give his answer. “I’d love to stay, Gen. But I’m kind of in the same boat.” 

“You’ll just have to borrow some of Jared’s clothes.” 

Y/N grinned, reaching for a waffle as Shep and Tom came running with their father not too far behind. “Looks like we are the strays being taken in for the day,” she joked before handing him over the platter of fluffy goodness. 

Jensen took the goodness, stealing two of the waffles before moving the plate down the line of table members. “Looks that way.” 

* * *

Despite the fact that he was still pretty hungover, Jensen noticed that having a decent amount of coffee and food in his system, followed by the pain medicine that Jared slipped him before encouraging a shower - he was feeling a little better. That nagging feeling of how he shouldn’t be enjoying himself was still lingering, but as long as he kept himself busy with things like helping clean the dishes or offering to do a beer run, did he find himself at ease. 

Jared had roped him into heading outside to help set up the grill while watching the boys run around like they had the never-ending energy of the fricking Energizer Bunny. As he watched his friend pour some charcoal into the pit, he heard another laugh come from inside the house where the ladies were prepping the food to be made. 

“So,” he cleared his throat hoping this wouldn’t sound as cringy as it did in his head. “What’s the deal with Y/N?”

Jared paused for a moment before shifting the heavy bag in his grasp, allowing himself to turn towards him. “Why are you asking?” 

“I’m just curious. I’ve known you guys for over a decade and this is the first time I’ve ever seen of her.”

There was a click of his tongue as he finished pouring what was needed and standing his large frame back up. He pushed some of his hair out of his face while stealing a glance towards the opened screen door where the faint sounds of chatter could be heard. “No offense man, but you probably shouldn’t be going there right now.” 

“Going where?” 

His dark eyebrow rose and a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Don’t pretend like you aren’t trying to get the details so you could see if she’s single.” 

Jensen ignored the statement before heading over the cooler that he had just filled to the brim with ice and semi-chilled beer and pulled two out. Tossing one to Jared, he cracked his open with ease, “Well, is she single?” 

“Dude.” 

“What?” 

Jared didn’t open his beverage right away, instead, he rolled the thing back and forth between his hands while he stepped closer to where Jensen was chugging his dangerously fast. “Listen, Y/N is a great girl. She’s attractive as hell, but” his hands went up at the shit his friend was about to give him for calling another woman, who wasn’t his pregnant wife, attractive, “Don’t. Seriously, neither you or her are in the proper headspace to really be in the same room as one another.”

“What the hell does that mean?” 

Another knowing look from him as he finally cracked open that beer he was cradling. “Come on, you really think your dark and broody and handle someone how works twelve-hour shifts for three days at a time?” 

Jensen took a long guzzle from his beer now, thinking over what he was saying. “Are you implying that I want a relationship with this woman?” 

Another pointed look. “That’s exactly why I’m telling you to stay away. Stay far, far away. She doesn’t need what you are trying to bring to the table.” 

Just as Jensen was going to argue about what he can bring to the table and provide the proper references, the two women appeared in the doorway. Gen was carrying a large salad bowl while Y/N was laughing about something and holding a large plate that had various meats to barbeque. As she passed by him, she offered him a small smile and a brush of her shoulder before he realized that he was blocking their path to where Jared was waiting to get this show on the road. 

Scooting a bit to the side, he got a look from Jared who offered him a stern shake of his head before helping his wife finish with the patio spread. He didn’t know if it was because he was being told not to or because his interest had peaked, but he knew one thing for sure. 

He was going to get to know this mystery woman one way or another.

* * *


	5. 3.

**Chapter Three**

“When are you going to visit?” Your mother’s voice cooed through the other side of the phone. “Phil is dying to see you in person instead of the pictures I share with him.” 

The nose curl at the mention of Phil was instinct at this point. “Ma, I really wish you wouldn’t share pictures of me with a man I’ve never met.”

“And that’s exactly why you need to come back home.” 

Another unseen eye roll was given as you stood in your cramped little kitchen, sipping on your coffee while still upset that the creamer you swore you had just bought was already bad. One of the several reasons you rarely had food, or company, in your place, was you were getting by with the bare minimum. 

You took a slow sip, trying to think through when you really would be able to get home to see your family again, but it wasn’t looking like it would be any time soon with how work was set up. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ll be able to get home until Christmas and that’s if my holiday leave gets approved.” 

“I’m sure if your father calls around, he can find a way to make that happen,” her voice was airy - like this was the kind of thing normal parents offer to do for their children. “What hospital did you say you were working at again?” 

“Mom.” 

“Or,” her voice hitched like she just thought of something. “If all else fails, we can just come and see you.” 

“Mom.” 

“I’m sure if I give Phil enough notice, he can get make sure no new cases get in the way.” There was a second of a pause, “Yeah, yeah, I think that’ll be perfect. I have your address, so we can send gifts ahead of time. Do you think a tree would fit in your place?” 

_“Mom.”_

“What?” 

The caffeine was supposed to be helping with the tension headache you had since last night, but the choice to call your mother to check-in was clearly not the way to start your weekend. “Christmas is six months away. Six. Now, please, can we just talk about things like how Dad is doing or maybe you could ask me how I like the new hospital I’m at?” 

“Well, I’m just trying -”

“I swear on Charlie, I will hang up right now.” 

There was a pause and you thought for a moment that maybe your mother had gotten tired of your backtalk and hung up on you herself. “Of all things you choose to swear on, you pick the dog?” 

“Yep.” 

Another bit of silence before you heard your mom start to lose it in a fit of laughter. She had one of those laughs that even though you couldn’t be in the same room as her, you felt it through the phone and it was enough to make you break out into a fit of giggles. That seemed to be enough to get her off of trying to play matchmaker and the planning of the holidays. 

You pressed her for more information on your father - trying to gauge how everyone was holding on from a distance. She assured you that things were more trying, some days were better than others, but he was still his normal over the top self. Something you hadn’t really been telling many people was that your father was in the early stages of lung cancer. As a heavy smoker in his younger days, followed by the stress of being one of the most successful lawyers on the East Coast, things just kind of caught up with him. Despite you making a sudden move down to Austin just shortly before your father was diagnosed, your family was still ever supportive of what you did for a living. 

Your mother was just pushing at a relationship because as she liked to remind you, “no one is getting any younger.” She barely understood some days why you couldn’t answer your phone when you were basically comatose to the world, so she seemed to really be lacking that dating was basically out of the question. 

The two of you talked for about an hour before you finally had to tell her that it was time for you to go otherwise you were never going to get around to the errands you needed to run. Once more she threw in that Phil was really, really interested and just to give her something to feel good about you promised that if she gave him your number, you’d try to make some sort of effort to talk to him. 

Literally, moments after you hung up the phone, Gen’s photo popped up on the screen almost a tad aggressively. Your eyebrows scrunched up as you pressed the large green button before bringing the screen towards your ear. “Hello?” 

“Oh, good,” Gen said breathlessly. “Are you home?” 

“Yes, but -” 

“Can you come over for a bit?” Her words were rushed as if she was running a marathon. “I, uh, I kind of need a little help with something.” 

The nurse part of your brain was firing at rapid speed, but the most rational part of you was trying to remind you that there were several things that a very pregnant Gen could need help with. “Yeah, yeah, just let me throw on some clothes and I’ll be right over.” 

“Thanks so much.” 

Despite how you knew your friend was trying not to have you worry which was why she didn’t tell you what you needed help with, you threw on the first set of clothes you were able to get your hands on - which happened to be a pair of black leggings and a bright blue t-shirt before rushing out to where your car was parked. 

You may or may not have accidentally run two red lights on your rush over to the Padalecki house. Barely parking and pulling your keys out of the ignition before the front door came swinging open and two little boys came running out into the front yard with their waddling mother not too far off. 

“Hey,” you called over as those same boys attached themselves at your knees while shouting that they were so excited to have you over again. “Everything okay?” 

There was an unmistakable twist of pain written on her face as she paused her step halfway before waving her hands up in the air as if to brush off the question. “Yeah, yeah, I just need someone here until Jared gets home.” 

Suspicion ran through your veins as you patted Shep and Tom once more before telling them that you really needed to talk to their mother. “And why is Jared coming home from work?” 

“Um,” that twist was there again causing you to step forward and place a hand on her large stomach. “It’s nothing.” 

“Gen,” your tone dipped, warning her that you were not about to take her bullshit excuse when you knew the in’s and out’s of what a woman in labor looked like. “Are you have contractions?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Gen,” you spoke through pursed lips. “Why aren’t you at the hospital?” 

Her dark eyes shifted as she offered you a short of shy smirk and glanced over at where the boys had decided to spray down the dog with the garden hose before turning back to you. “Because… I didn’t have someone to watch the boys.” 

“Seriously, all you had to do was ask.” 

She grinned, but it only lasted for a moment until that contort was back. “I didn’t want you to worry.” 

Jared seemed to have the same idea as you, that his wife was hiding something by asking him to come home two hours early from the office. While he was trying to be supportive, he had no problems pulling you off to the side and expressing his concern for his laboring wife. You were quick to tell him that as long as they got to the hospital with enough time and she got the proper steroid shots, everything would be okay, but above all else, he needed to stay as calm as he could. 

You would have thought that this was Jared’s first child instead of his third with his behavior, but from all your time spent in the emergency room over the last couple of weeks, you knew that his behavior was fairly normal no what how many kids were in the picture. 

It was a little after eight when you finally bribed the boys into bed with the promise of watching The Lion King, not even past the opening sequence before they both were snoozing soundly in their beds. You were just in the process of shooting Gen a quick text to check-in and let her know that the house hadn’t burned down when there was a soft knock at the front door. 

_Everything good, just waiting to be discharged. She’s not coming anytime soon, but I need to remember to drink more water._

The update made you smile with relief that everything was all good while you made your way over the front door. Looking through the small peephole, you had more questions than answers about who was on the other side. 

Swinging open the door, you cocked your head to the side with a smirk. “Well, well, what do I owe the honor of having Jensen Ackles come over?” 

His mouth dropped open as he looked across at you, confusion clearly written on his face before he cleared his throat and stood up a bit. Emerald eyes looked you up and down in the kind of way that made you wish you had worn something a little less homey that what you had on. “Oh, um,” his gaze made it’s way back up to your face. “I was actually looking for Jared.” 

“You didn’t hear?” 

“No?” 

Scooting off to the side, you tilted your head with the silent invitation to let Jensen in. “Gen was having signs of premature labor - they had to make a run to the hospital.” 

Jensen sauntered in, glancing around the semi-mess of a house before wandering his way into the kitchen and opening the fridge as if he lived there. “And you were called because you’re a nurse?” 

“So you do pay attention?” You asked with sarcasm dripping all along with your words as you kept your eyes trained on him. 

Much like you would have expected based on the stories you’d heard of the infamous Jensen Ackles, he rummaged around the fridge before producing two cans of beer. “Maybe I’m just more than meets the eye.” 

You snorted as you took the can from him and placed it on the counter in front of you. “Like the kind of guy that just makes himself comfortable in his friend’s home while they aren’t here?”

“Hey, according to Gen I have a standing invitation to come over whenever I so please.” 

“But do you have a key?” 

His can paused halfway in the effort for him to take a sip. “I do.”

“But you knocked?” 

You watched as Jensen finished his swig of the bitter drink. “I didn’t just want to barge into their house. Actually, I was hoping that Jared would be free to go for a little drive with me.” 

An eyebrow cocked up as you leaned against the counter where your offered beer still sat, unopened. “That sounds a bit like a date.” 

“Ha,” he smirked, but you noticed that his eyes didn’t quite crinkle in the way you had seen only that weekend. “I, well, I was kind of hoping he’d be free to talk about some things with me.” 

His tone, or maybe it was just the uncertainty of everything going on in the last twelve hours, but it made your stomach dip. Deciding that it would be alright with the kids already down for the night, you reached out for your beverage, cracking it open and heading over to the kitchen table before taking a seat. “I’m not Jared, but we can pretend if you’d like.” 

Jensen eyed you once more from his spot in the kitchen. A soft smile creeping over his lips, “You are like the complete opposite of Jared, darlin’.” 

“Want me to go and dig out one of his plaid shirts for good measure?” 

“Hell no,” he said with a laugh before coming over and parking himself diagonal from where you were babying your drink. “That would be hard to explain.” 

“Eh, I’m sure I could think of something.” 

Another low chuckle came from the man next to you. He took another slow sig before putting the can down and inspecting the tops of his fingers. “I’m just… I’m having a hard time with something.” 

“Is that why you’re so dark and broody all the time?” 

“Did Jared tell you that?” He asked, an eyebrow raised at you. “He always tells me I come off that way.” 

“He’s not wrong.” 

There was a soft sigh from him now as he picked his can back up and took another guzzle. “Without skirting around the issue too much, this last deployment kind of wrecked me.” 

You nodded. “How long ago did you come back?”

“About two months ago.” 

“Hm,” you gave another slow nod, taking another sip of your beer in sync with him. “Around the time I came back to Austin.” 

He perked up a bit at your little tidbit of shared information. “Yeah? I was wondering why I’d never seen you around until last weekend.” 

“So, you’ve been thinking about me, eh?” 

If you didn’t know any better you’d say that there was a slight blush creeping its way across those broodingly high cheeks bones of his. He didn’t deny your suggestion which in a different sort of way, made your own cheeks warm, but for now, you’d blame that on the sudden boost of alcohol in your system. 

His mouth opened at the same time the familiar creak from the front door pushed its way into the quiet kitchen. You knew that Jared and Gen were trying to be quiet, assuming that the boys were still down and not destroying the house as they crept their way towards where the kitchen was ablaze. 

Jared paused just shortly behind his wife, seeing Jensen sitting at the table next to you and gave him that questioning head tilt. Jensen seemed to give him a shrug before looking back over at where you were watching your best friend waddle her way back into her home. 

“Hey,” Gen whispered without looking up, slipping off her shoes and plopping down at the other end of the table. “Was everyone okay?”

“Honestly, they were angels.” 

Your friend gave you a pointed look. “My boys? Angels?” She looked back at her husband with disbelief on her face. “Am I that tired that I’m hearing things?” 

The four of you all sat at the table now, Jensen and Jared sitting next to each other, their broad shoulders almost touching in the proximity while Gen and you joked about how you were the child whisperer, but in reality, you just let the boys go crazy in the backyard for two hours to the point they barely ate the spaghetti you made for them before they were asking to lay down and watch their movie. Jensen and Jared appeared to be listening and joking along with the two of you, but you couldn’t help but noticed the bits of side conversation they were having. 

You stayed an extra hour, making sure to help Gen get upstairs and remind her that if she needed anything, just call you. She didn’t need to lie to get you over, but if she couldn’t get ahold of you while you were at work, just to go ahead and call the hospital. 

“She’s all comfortable,” you stated to Jared when your foot hit the bottom step. “Just waiting for you to join her.” 

Jared gave you a large grin. “I seriously can’t thank you enough.” 

You waved him off before scooting back to the kitchen and grabbing your purse that was hanging off one of the chairs. As you were rooting around for your car keys, Jensen trailed in slowly while Jared said a quiet ‘goodnight’ to him. 

“Hey,” he said when he noticed you standing there. 

You glanced up once you had your keys in your hand. “Hey, getting ready to head out?” 

He shook his head. “No, I think I’m going to spend the night. Help with the boys in the morning.” 

“Oh.” Something told you that it wasn’t a fluke that Jensen came looking for his best friend tonight. You had a feeling that the man really didn’t want to be alone. “Well, goodnight Jensen.” 

“Goodnight, Y/N.” 

As you turned on your heel, you noticed Jensen was following you towards the exit. When you reached the door, hand on the doorknob did you pause and turn back towards the tall and brooding man. “Jensen?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Would you like my number?” 

His lips pursed while his eyes widened at your sudden question. You couldn’t help, but give him a slight snicker. “You know, in case you need someone to play Jared in the midst of having a new baby.” 

He stayed silent but gave you a nod while he fished out his phone before handing it over. Typing in your number quickly you handed it back to him. “Don’t be a stranger.” 

\-- 


	6. 4.

**Chapter Four**

That feeling was back. 

It was the kind that he couldn’t explain. It made him nervous, almost twitchy, and he was thankful that he was alone do that no one would wonder if he was really all that there at this moment. Although even trying to convince himself, he questioned what was reality.

He had been in the shower, washing up after some much-needed gym time and before heading down to the chow hall to grab some food with some of his brothers. Something settled in the pit of his stomach, made him feel almost nauseous while another part of him suddenly felt the urge to punch something so hard that he could watch it disintegrate under his touch. It was such a mixture of things that when he was asked to sit down and explain it to the therapist on base, he always drew up a blank. 

“Fuck,” he grunted to himself as he shut off the water, his vision starting to get fuzzy in the corners. “Not right now.” 

* * *

_“Please,” Tyler’s tanned bicep reflected in the desert sunlight. The amount that one could sweat was beyond what they could have ever prepared a person for. “I could bag a babe like Mila Kunis any day.”_

_Jensen laughed, eyeing his companion from the side while scanning the empty sand mountains before them. “You’d have to have been seriously loaded to even be able to think you could be in the same circle as that woman.”_

_“Who says I’m not?”_

_With a cocked eyebrow, Jensen laughed at his friend. “Prove it to me when we get back then.”_

_“How the hell am I supposed to do that?”_

_He thought that through for a moment while looking out into the setting sun, thankful they had survived post with no indications of a threat into the night. “Pay for my birthday tattoo.”_

_There was a snickered to his right before Tyler’s deep voice came through. “Seriously? You know tattoos aren’t that expensive right?”_

_“You clearly don’t know what I have in mind.”_

_His friend was silent, probably trying to figure out if Jensen was just pulling his leg or not. The two of them continued to stare out into the distance - if they didn’t know any better or if they didn’t have fifty plus pounds of weapons on their back, they could have swung the idea that they were just out on a desert island, enjoying the sunset and talking about life._

_The mind has a way of tricking us into what we really want to think._

_“Only if I get to help design the son of a bitch.”_

_“Deal.”_

* * *

That memory plagued Jensen’s heart more than he thought he could handle, but for some reason, it was hitting even harder tonight. As he shut off the shower, he dried himself off quickly, pulling a clean t-shirt over his head and stepping out of his bathroom and into the empty room before him. The knot in his stomach seemed to be rooting itself and twisting into something ugly. 

Jensen knew that if he was alone tonight, he might not have the willpower to make it until the morning. 

Reaching for his phone, he tapped the screen lightly the time lighting up the screen. It was a little after seven and the date read ‘March 1st’ in little tiny letters just under where the time was on his phone. Suddenly, the realization of what today was started to make all the more sense, especially the sudden invitation from his comrades to join them for workouts and all the meals today. Now he felt even more like a dick for missing Jared’s calls earlier. 

Swiping up, he pulled up his call log where Jared’s name was lit up in red within his most recent calls. His thumb hovered over his friend’s name, but something was holding him back. Maybe it was the fact that he felt like he had been overstaying his welcome with Jared and Gen, especially with his daughter coming sometime within the next eight weeks. He knew that his friend didn’t need another child to take care of. 

With a groan, he tossed the damned thing on his bed and began an aggressive pace around his cramped room; which suddenly felt like it was closing in on him with insane speed. He knew he needed to get out here, but heading to the chow hall now was starting to make him feel like he had to throw up and he still couldn’t bring himself to call Jared. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he muttered to himself while running a hand over his face. “Fuck this fucking day.” 

Despite what he said, Jensen reached down and grabbed his phone once more. Taking another five steps before circling back around to repeat the same action three more times, he weighed through who he could call right now. 

_“Don’t be a stranger.”_

Those words floated through his thoughts, stopping him in his tracks. Scrolling through his contacts until he found the name he was looking for, he still found himself pausing. He knew from Jared that she tended to work odd hours, so what if she was at work and couldn’t get away, then what would he do? Hit rock bottom at the bar again?

Somewhere when he was lost in these thoughts, his thumb developed a mind of its own and seemed to press down on the very name it was hovering over. 

“Hello? Hello?” A soft voice came through the other end of the speaker. “Anyone there?” 

Jensen stared at the phone like it was going to bite him, suddenly his stomach twisting for a completely different reason. He watched as the seconds ticked by on the call, coming dangerously close to hanging up and heading down to the bar on base, but another faint ‘hello’ once more made him stop. 

“Helllllooooooo.” 

He took a deep breath. “Hey Y/N, sorry, I accidentally called you.”

“Oh, Jensen?” Her voice dipped with the familiar sound of recognition in it. “Is everything okay?” 

“Uh, yeah, yeah, everything is peachy,” he lied, shifting his weight on his heels before he began the sudden erratic pacing he was doing earlier. 

“Peachy?” She asked with a small laugh. “Do people really use the word peachy when they aren’t lying?” 

“How the fuck do you do that?” 

There was a shift of noise of her end before her voice came back through. “Do what?” 

“See-through people’s lies?” 

“Oh,” she gave another little laugh. “I like to think I have a bullshit detector.” 

“Hm, I think I might need to get my hands on one of those sometime soon.” 

“Yeah?” Another bleep of noise in what sounded like a very loud television commercial about the car sales for this coming weekend being muted. “I’d be more than happy to recommend some of my favorite brands.”

The knot was slowly loosening. “Well, hey, since I have you on the phone, are you working tonight?” 

“Nope,” she chirped with a happy tone in her voice. “I had to switch shifts with one of the newbies last week so that she could make it to a last-minute trip with her boyfriend. So I’m as free as a bird.” 

He found himself laughing, something he wasn’t sure he was capable of on today of all days. “Got any plans for the evening?” 

“Are you trying to ask me out?” 

“What?” Jensen stammered, his words suddenly feeling dry and coarse in his mouth. “No, no, not at all.” 

“What a shame,” he could practically hear the smile in her tone. “I’ve just got alllllll this free time.” 

If he didn’t know any better, he would have sworn that she was egging him on to ask her out. He paused, trying to decide if it was worth the risk despite the warning from Jared about not getting on her radar, but then he had to remind himself that Jared wasn’t here to stop him. Not this time. 

“You know what,” he took another step forward, scanning the room for where he had thrown his wallet when he came back in. “I know of this dive bar not too far from the base.” 

“Hm, I’m actually kind of hungry.”

He shoved his wallet in the front pocket of his jeans, stealing a quick glance of his reflection in the mirror that hung off to the side of his desk. “They have food.” 

“Bar food.” 

“Okay?” He ran his hand through his still-damp hair. “What do you have in mind?”

“I want a really, really good burger.” 

They were on the phone for another five minutes while they argued where they could get the best burger this side of Austin. She had said she wanted to try someplace newer, but Jensen was quick to shut that down about how if she really wanted a good burger, he knew just the place to go to. That was how he found himself sitting in the parking lot of The Joint, the old neon sign ablaze in the dimming skyline while he stared at the front door with a feeling just shy of skittish. Maybe it was because he was already on edge from earlier or the fact that this was the closest he had been on a real date in well over two years. 

Here, read the text on his phone just as he looked up to see Y/N stepping out of her car and heading towards the entrance. Jensen found himself stealing one more glance in his rearview mirror before hopping out of his truck and slipping in behind her. 

“Hey,” he said softly in comparison to the loud music that was playing. 

“Holy shit,” Y/N squealed and clutched her chest before turning on her heel to face him, eyes wide and with deep breaths. “Do you always sneak up on people like that?”

Jensen smirked and gave a low chuckle, noting how she was wearing a lacy tank top under one of those large cardigans and a pair of skinny jeans. She seemed a little taller than he remembered, but upon further inspection, he noticed she was wearing a set of wedges. With a cocked eyebrow, he scanned her up and down openly. “Do you always get this dressed up to get a burger?” 

“Is this what you consider dressed up?” 

“Is there not sparkly shit on your eyes?” 

She rolled her eyes at him, but she still kept a smile on her face. “I haven’t been out of the apartment in weeks.” 

“Well, then,” he stepped forward and extended his arm for her to take and with his free one, swept over the semi-empty dining area of the small restaurant. “Thank you for allowing me to be your company.” 

She gave him another small eye roll at how extra he was being, but that smile still stayed put. Upon looking a bit more, Jensen saw a corner booth by the bar that was open and tugged her in that direction before the both of them sat down - Olivia was already on her way over with two large and frothy mugs of beer in hand. 

“Howdy there, Jensen,” she said with that thick Southern accent of hers. “Will it be the usual tonight?” 

“Yes, please,” he looked across the table in a pointed effort to get the young waitress to notice that he was with company. “And whatever the lady would like.”

Y/N didn’t seem phased that the waitress barely acknowledged her existence while she scanned over the menu that had been waiting for them at the table. Her head tilted to the side when the beer was placed in front of her, but her eyes remained focused until she finally looked up at the blonde standing at the head of the table. “I’ll take a bacon cheeseburger, everything but the tomatoes and fries are fine.” 

“How would you like that cooked?” 

Y/N looked over at him while she pulled the beer closer to where she was sitting. “Medium well.” 

Jensen smirked over his own glass, not surprised in the slightest that she was the kind of girl to order exactly what she came for. He watched as she took a large gulp before placing her drink back on the table and looking back up at him with a playful glimmer in her stare. “So, you come here often?” 

“They have good burgers.” 

She raised an eyebrow and looked back over to where Olivia had disappeared to, her skinny jeans hanging low on tiny hips of her. “Sure they do.” 

He remained quiet, sipping his beer with ease and looking around the dimly lit joint. There were a couple of people he recognized from passing, he was pretty sure one of the men sitting at the bar had bought him a drink at one point in time, but he could never be too sure on those nights. Y/N appeared to be doing the same, eyes wandering from person to person while scanning the random pictures that scattered along the walls. 

“Want to talk about it?” Her voice came through his thoughts once more. 

“Talk about what?” 

She gave him that little side smirk, the kind that had her eyes crinkling in the corners before putting her mug back down and scooting it closer to the center of the table. “Come on, I doubt you called me just to grab a burger.” 

“I told you it was an accident.” 

A lone eyebrow cocked up and she gave him the faintest of smirks. “Remember, bullshit detector?” 

Jensen gave a sigh and reached out for his own beer, chugging it enough that when he put it back down it was half empty. “It’s my birthday.” 

“What!?” Y/N exclaimed, almost jumping up in her seat. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have suggested something more… more festive.” 

While he could tell that she was excited, he couldn’t bring himself to match her degree of it, so he offered her a half-ass sort of shrug. “What’s more festive than having a beer and a good burger?” 

“Tacos and margaritas.”

Beer almost came out of his nose at that point, the laugh and her answer were completely unexpected. Although, he was starting to learn more and more that the woman sitting across from him was not someone he could easily read. Carefully putting his beer back down, Jensen shook his head slowly, “Tequila and I aren’t the best of friends.”

An almost Cheshire Cat-like grin graced her lips. “More the reason to celebrate the right way.”

Another shake of his head. “No, really, I don’t think you want to see me tequila drunk.” 

She didn’t argue, just lifted her eyebrow in that way that she had earlier. “I guess I’ll have to take your word for it.” 

Jensen just kind of gave a soft nod towards her, thankful that she wasn’t going to push the matter at hand. He wasn’t quite sure what to say next, so he mindlessly picked at the breadbasket that Olivia had snuck over to them. Y/N didn’t say anything, just sipped her beer while glancing around the place a bit more, those eyes of hers darting between the framed jersey’s that hung around and where he was sitting. It was obvious that she wanted to pick his brain, but was doing her best to bite her tongue. 

It had him questioning if Jared and Gen had said anything that would make her walk on eggshells with him. 

“Alright, I’m just going to say it,” she finally stated in rush. “What are you doing with me on your birthday and not with Jared or even some of those guys back on base?” 

He sipped his beer slowly now, toying with the idea of how honest he wanted to be. Deciding that the woman sitting across from him was enough of a stranger that she could walk out of his life at any point and it wouldn’t phase him, so he gave the most honest answer he was able to. “I don’t want a pity party.” 

“Only the birthday boy gets to decide what kind of party he wants.” 

The snort that came out of him was unexpected, even to him. “Yeah, well, it’s more in how others look at me.” 

She was quiet for a moment, carefully picking a piece of bread out of the basket and beginning to rip it apart. “I know what you mean.” 

Once again, she surprised him. And for the first time, he wanted to prod her about what she meant but seeing as she understood a little bit more of his dilemma and didn’t push the topic, he respected her enough to do the same. Just as Jensen found himself comfortable enough to give her his own words of contentment, their burgers appeared. 

The look of excitement and joy coming off of her as she grinned down at the plated meat like it was her prey stirred something inside of him. Pushing it down with a handful of scalding hot fries and several chugs of his beer, he signaled to Olivia he was ready for another. The two of them ate in quiet, with the exception of the near-sexual noises coming out of Y/N every time she took a bite of her burger. 

It was getting harder and harder to hear those kinds of noises coming out of her. It was also making it glaringly obvious that it had been way longer than he would have liked since the last time he was laid. If they didn’t finish up their meal, he knew that he might say or do something that would get him in some serious trouble with his best friend. 

Thankfully, Y/N devoured her burger in no time, just as he was finishing shoveling his in his mouth to prevent anything else from coming out. He thought about ordering another round of beers, keep the good times going, but another part of him wanted to step outside into some fresh air. 

It was the next best thing to a cold shower. 

“Anything else?” Olivia’s twangy voice asked. 

“Just the check,” Jensen said with a lopsided grin. “Thanks, darlin’.”

As he expected, the moment the check hit the table, Y/N was reaching for it. She kept insisting that because it was his birthday, she needed to pay for their meal - to which he countered saying that he invited her out, it was his duty to take care of the bill. The look she gave him was both irritated and adorable with that little nose scrunch of disapproval. 

Olivia practically ran over when they were getting up to leave, clearly, she was hoping that Jensen’s visit was more than needing food. For the first time in a while, it dawned on him that she really was just a little girl, trying to blow off the fact that he was here with a “date.” 

It borderline pissed him the hell off. 

“Night Jay,” she cooed, batty those thickly lined lashes up at him, “Talk to ya later?” 

“Don’t think so,” he answered, slipping his leather jacket on with ease and nodding over at Y/N. “Gonna be a quiet night for me.” 

Her look of disappointment was clear as she slunk back away towards the kitchen like a dog with its tail between their legs. “Poor girl,” Y/N muttered, scooting in closer to him now, “She’s got it bad for you.” 

Jensen shrugged. “She’s not really my type.” 

“But she has your number?” 

“Let’s call it a moment of weakness.” 

She laughed and it caused him to smile as they made their way back out to where their vehicles were parked. When they stalled, they were standing in front of what appeared to be her car and he found himself a little lost on what to do. 

Seeing that she seemed to be rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, Jensen cleared his throat. “Thanks for coming out with me tonight.” 

“Of course,” she grinned up at him, the sparkly dusting from her makeup reflecting in the outside lights above. “Are you going to be okay?” 

“Huh?” 

“Well, it’s your birthday… and you’re alone. I can totally hang out a couple more hours if you want.” 

In the pit of his stomach, he wanted to tell her to stay, say they could hit up that taco place for some margaritas or whatever the hell she wanted. Her company calmed him, it was like he had almost forgotten about all those desert promises that felt like decades ago now. 

He felt like by agreeing to have her stay with him, she would soon give him that lost puppy look he was so familiar with.

“No, you just coming out tonight has been more than enough.” 

Her lips pursed like she wanted to argue, but Jensen was thankful when she didn’t. “Well, thank you, again,” she smirked, bouncing on her feet once more. “I, at the very least, owe you one thing.” 

Jensen’s eyebrow quirked. “You do?” 

Another bounce and he found her standing on her toes, mere inches from his mouth with a playful sort of glimmer in her eyes now. “Mhm.” 

Before he had time to pry anymore, Y/N pressed her lips into his. It wasn’t quick, but it wasn’t deep. And it was hell of a lot more than Jensen had gotten in months and it was much more zealous than he was used to with a woman. When she pulled away, he felt a chill that hadn’t been in the humid Texan air moments ago. 

“Every birthday boy needs a kiss.”

And with that simple little statement, he had to stand there and watch her drive away wishing he could sell his soul to the devil for a chance to convince her to stay. 


End file.
